I am sitting at the top of our stairs. Directly between your bedroom and mine. You’ve managed to army crawl your way out here and I’m defending my computer against little hands and endless curiosity. I’m answering work emails and creating quotes for clients. In my jeans. On my wood floor. With nothing in the background but the sound of your voice and hands discovering new textures. I don’t think you’ve made it this far on your own yet. You’re on an adventure.
I’m struck by the moment. We caught eyes and you sat up. You smiled and began babbling. I thought of my own mother. How she must see me and how one day I will not be able to recall this moment as real as it is now. I cherish you. I cherish our days together. Even when you’re teething as you are now and keeping me up all night. I can’t imagine looking into your eyes next year…let alone 10, 20 years from now.
You won’t remember these days. Maybe that’s the hardest part for your Mommy. Our days and many many nights spent tucked in each others arms. But I hope it instills me into you. If I am not here to tell you about these moments, I want you to know they existed. You and me. I love you little boy.