April Showers

Spring has found its way to Georgia. Our newly planted flowers have bloomed and sitting outside under our patio lights, watching Camden explore his new surroundings has become my new favorite spot. April has made its way back around on the calendar, as it tends to do on a yearly basis.

April is a beautiful and celebratory month for my family. It is the month of my husband’s birthday, our wedding anniversary, and Easter. April is actually the month of several birthdays and anniversaries in my extended family and one of those birthdays belongs to my sister, Erica. After losing her to a car accident almost 19 years ago, April 24th will always be her day.

Maybe a woman never recovers from the loss of her sister. In my adult life, there have been so many moments that I have wanted her by my side. On my wedding day or at the birth of my son, her absence weighed heavily on me. And as I start this new journey as a mother to a baby girl, I ache for her guidance. And sisterhood.

It has become evident to me that female relationships in my life aren’t just important, they are critical to my happiness. And as I’ve built those relationships over the years, I am often surprised and hurt by the ones that don’t last. The deep friendships that are somehow set aside selfishly or injured and never repaired. It can make venturing into new friendships terrifying.

Laying that fear aside for the reward of new and deeper friendships is imperative. Next weekend, I am taking a trip with my two sister-in-laws. As I think of the trip, I can only wonder what it would be like to bring my own sister. To introduce her to these beautiful women and share experiences together as mothers, friends, and most importantly…sisters.

Some days are still hard without her. As I sit here writing this I wonder if she is looking over us. Enjoying the view of my new patio and watching my belly grow with anticipation for her niece. I will always miss my big sister. But especially in April.

Xoxo

Tara Layne